Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February 9

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February 9: International Tourettes Day

  • 1012 - Anglo-Saxons tell the Normans to 666 their 666 with a 666.
  • 1066 - In the Battle of Hastings, 666 happens.
  • 1222 - 666.
  • 1492 - Christopher Columbus begins his first journey across the Atlantic, and gets 666.
  • 1812 - Canada and The United States go to 666 war. Nobody 666 notices.
  • 1914 - Throngs of tourists visit the US on this day only to find it is actually 666 Tourettes Day. They 666 stay, because they feel like they are in 666 Paris.
  • 1960 - Oil mining in Alberta, Canada goes wrong, causing the rig to get stuck pumping farther and farther into the hole while the rich liquid spews out.
  • 1965 - Wham-O's Superball is introduced and becomes a runaway hit, because people love to play with balls.
  • 2005 - After placing her pen on the table, Keira Knightley was then seen to 666 fall asleep.
  • 2006 - Dick Cheney gets on stage with Aerosmith to sing Cheney's Got a Gun. 666.
  • 2008 - Steve 666 Ballmer plans not to FUCKING KILL™ people, but to 666ING KILL™ them instead.
  • 2009 - Kanye West is sorry, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time. OF ALL TIME, DOG.
  • 2010 - Taylor Swift wins at the VMA's again, except this time when Kanye West tries to bring his drunken ass up, she punches him in the nose, where he then falls on Beyoncé, who is so surprised, she screams. This alerts her bodyguards, who then tackle Kanye West and beat the crap out of him. That night he succumbs to his injuries, and Taylor Swift goes back up to the microphone. "I'm sorry, y'all, but Michael Jackson had one of the best deaths of all time! Of all time!"