Babel:W2
June 8: Be Suspicious of Your Friends and Co-Workers (They're Trying to Kill You) Day
- 1210 - Rain is discovered by Vatican scientists.
- 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory.
- 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee beard.
- 1798 - North Dakota moves to its present location from beside the River Thames.
- 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union. Nissan decides it will build its plant there after all.
- 1900 - Hitler's moustache is born.
- 1901 - The Queen of the United Kingdom, Empress of Canada, Grand Sheila of Australia, Most Merciful Pasha of Yorkshire, is expelled from her mother's uterus into the world.
- 1949 - 35 years after starting it, George Orwell finally completes his futuristic novel Nineteen Fourty-Four.
- 1963 - Doctor What changes his name to Doctor Who.
- 1969 - Bill Clinton fails to inhale.
- 1979 - Mel Gibson speaks in enhanced Aussie accent after discovering he was born in Peekskill, New York.
- 1983 - The United States Government collapses then reforms in a period of twelve hours. No one notices because a cute kitten is born on TV.
- 2011 - You read this. You wished you had not bothered. You take a sip of tea and note a slightly odd taste. Distracted, you reread this line, except now it is dated 2011.
Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem (pictured) | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift | Praey for the gods | Henry Kissinger | Sandra Day O'Connor | Battle for Dream Island | Rastadon | Quintana Roo | Digestive system | The Sims 4 | Ahsoka (TV series) | King Charles II | The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
June 8, 2024
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Today's featured article – Henry Kissinger
Henry (born Heinz) Alfred Kissinger (May 27, 1923 – November 29, 2023) is the most notorious bore of 20th-century international politics and the chief proponent of Realpolitik. He developed an approach to diplomacy called Primat der Außenpolitik and an approach to language involving sprinkling pretentious foreign words everywhere. His unintelligible advice baffled both Richard Nixon and thus certainly Gerald Ford, the two U.S. Presidents under whom he served between 1969 and 1977. His call for détente in U.S.–Soviet relations sent leaders of both nations to the dictionary, hoping it meant something dirty. His diplomacy played a crucial role in 1971 talks with Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai that concluded with a rapprochement between Kissinger and a lot of hot Chinese chicks. In the crowning achievement of his career, he was awarded the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for talking Nixon out of his last-ditch plan to win the Vietnam War by carpet-bombing Stockholm. (more...)
Previously featured article – Rastadon
The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. (more...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
June 8, 2024
- ... that GPSs accidentally dropped in the ocean have caused whales to become confused and try to migrate to Oklahoma?
- ... that since north is an impossible direction at the North pole, the latter should be called Not the North pole pole?
- ... that GPSs accidentally dropped in the ocean have caused whales to become confused and try to migrate to Oklahoma?
- ... that since north is an impossible direction at the North pole, the latter should be called Not the North pole pole?
- ... that GPSs accidentally dropped in the ocean have caused whales to become confused and try to migrate to Oklahoma?
And some others, in case you missed them...
June 8, 2024
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
Rms.jpg
Rms.jpg - 12 total votes ( 19 / 7 ) |
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Controversial picture: Freedom of Software or disrespect to Islam? Image credit: Mahroww |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
June 8, 2024
Congratulations for June's Writer and Noob of the Month!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
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