Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

The fifty part Genesis series of plays were written by Moses (7 Adar 2368 - 7 Adar 2488 in the Hebrew calendar, ??? - ??? in the Gregorian calendar) during a sojourn to Sinai. God Himself dictated them to Moses, who complained about the sand and the heat while transcribing the lengthy tale in Hebrew shorthand (no vowels). To thank God, he gave Him top billing. Moses, however, kept all the royalties.

Moses went on to pen Exodus (a good Hebrew/bad Egyptian story about a loose cannon prophet named Moses who plays by his own rules), Leviticus (like Sparticus, but with 'Lev'. Also, Moses), Numbers (an esoteric treatise on Moses' journey from Sinai to Moab), and Deuteronomy (three one-man, Moses-centric plays), but he never again attained the success that he had with Genesis. After this five part collection (Torah! Torah! Torah! in Hebrew) entered the public domain other writers added to the canon, which were eventually gathered together in an omnibus edition, commonly called the Hebrew Bible.

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Highlighted Image

Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

UnNews:Fears film may spark fresh wave of deicides

UnNews:Meditating monks accused of sleeping on the job

UnNews:Ahmadinejad: Holocaust Was Really Big Gay Jew Sex Party

UnNews:Chuck Norris on secularism: the single greatest threat that America has ever faced

UnNews:Heaven to be outsourced

UnNews:Duckist rebels meet opposition in Donegal

UnNews:OU Coach Bob Stoops: Boise St. must've cheated, somehow

UnNews:MIT researchers win Millenium Prize for Mathematics

UnNews:Shopping assistants aspire to become serial killers

UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”

~ Apple iTunes EULA Part 10 on stupid policies (Don't believe me? Google it!}}

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