Portal:Music
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Music portal.
By far the most musical portal you will ever find. |
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To understand music, we must first understand sound. Sound is an ingredient used to make tuna casserole. (It is disputed whether sound is sweet or savory.) Sound is alive. The hills are alive with it. Just ask Julie Andrews.
The word "Music" comes from two parts: Mute and sick, basically meaning if you don't mute it you get sick. Therefore generally speaking music are created to make people sick, either feeling high or dying.
Highlighted Article
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| If you make a band, you can be as cool as these guys! |
Bored during your holidays? Can't get the girls? Got a lot of money? Are you standing around in an empty garage with a bunch of other people all of whom are looking at you as if wondering what you're going to do next? Well then...
Why don't you start a Band?
Yeah, you won't be very good, but it stops you from being bored, it will waste your money (better than spending it on drugs), and you'll have a 1% increase of getting a girl (but only if you play a tuned instrument.)...
| Archive | Article credit: Braydie | (more...) |
Music in the News
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Standish, ME, USA (USS) - Eyewitnesses say the once world famous rock band KISS has ruined another high school graduation. Parents report that students at Bonny Eagle High School were lining up to get their diplomas, when all of a sudden the rock band KISS "walked in and screwed it all up".
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UnNews Audio (file info) |
| Listen to this story! | |
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope. |
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| Archive | Article credit: The Woodburninator | (more...) |
Featured Image
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Is it really him? (A grue just appeared.)
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Featured Artist
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| Sergei Rachmaninoff, no doubt stoned out of his mind. |
Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff was a famed Russian piano composer, whose primary goal in life was to make piano players really fucking pissed off by making his music as unplayable as humanly possible. He claimed to be a pianist himself[citation needed], but all he must have played was some easy shit like "Chopsticks" or "Mary had a Little Lamb". Seriously, if he had any actual knowledge of playing piano, he would have arranged his music in a way that was actually readable, as opposed to the messes he composed. Either that or he was on shrooms when he wrote them. Or both....
| Archive | Article credit: Thekillerfroggy | (more...) |
Lyric of the Week
“I'm a lesbian who uses his wand in a very special way butt butt butt.”
- ~ Harry Potter, from the musical: Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
Featured UnTunes
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| PLAY>MP3 |
I Like Cats (The Other White Meat)
I'm what you might call an animal lover
Horses, kangaroos and chimpazees
But dogs and birds and fish don't satisfy me
For cats they are the sweetest, you see.
Chorus:
I like cats with mustard
I like cats with chili cheese
Cat sausages, cat fricassee
Won't you try some cat chili?
I think that cats are great to eat...
| Archive | Musical credit: Todd Lyons | (more...) |
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