Uncyclopedia:Accuracy

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about A for Accuracy[experts needed].
This page is considered a most holy and sacred commandment of Uncyclopedia (peace and prayers be upon it).
If you do not accept it, you must burn in Hell for eternity.[yeah, right]


Nuvola apps important yellow.svg This article may contain one or more inaccuracies or does not cite all of its sources.[citation needed]
The author(s) must promptly be executed.[I Don't Believe This] Uncyclopedia contains no inaccuracies.[I Don't Believe This]
This template may also be inaccurate.[I Don't Believe This]
Independent studies confirm that Uncyclopedia content has on average -400 errors per 1000 sentences. [1]


Uncyclopedia is the truth[2]. Therefore, everything in Uncyclopedia is true[This Can't Be True]. If something in Uncyclopedia is not true[This Can't Be True], then it must be corrected so that it is true[This Can't Be True]. However, this will never be necessary because everything in Uncyclopedia is true[This Can't Be True]. [The Cake is a Lie.][This Can't Be True]

The Golden Age of Information: Pax Uncyclopædia[This Can't Be True]

Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia[wikipedia needed].

“It makes me want to scream, shout, celebrate, cry and laugh, to know that I live in the Age of Uncyclopedia, the most glorious period of human history, in which all is illuminated.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pax Uncyclopædia

[This Can't Be True]

We live in the Pax Uncyclopædia[This Can't Be True]: Uncyclopedia is filled with informative content of indubitable veracity[This Can't Be True]. This unmatched accuracy was a product of a most ingenious technique[This Can't Be True]. The Founding Fathers of Uncyclopedia foresaw that people would despise authority--that they will do whatever they were told not to do.[This Can't Be True] So, the Founders, in their infinite wisdom, used reverse psychology.[3] They asked for the world to write nonsense or humor and received Pure Knowledge instead.[yeah, right]

Repentance of Heretics[This Can't Be True]

Some unusual seating arrangements were made for the visitors to the Palace of Knowledge.[This Can't Be True]

Some have questioned the factual accuracy of Uncyclopedia.[This Can't Be True] In September 2000, they were invited to a friendly debate with the Lord High Inquisitor in the Palace of Knowledge[This Can't Be True], a medieval torture chamber purchased by the Uncyclomedia Foundation and converted into a luxurious dining hall, complete with amenities such as warmed chairs and electrical stimulation devices for the resuscitation of those who have fainted (physically or metaphorically)[This Can't Be True]. After several days, during which screams of joy (at realizing the truth) were heard from the Palace, the truth-deniers repented[4].

Scientific Research[yeah, right]

Many studies have been done to prove the accuracy of Uncyclopedia[This Can't Be True]. According to the prestigious pee-reviewed journal Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy, Uncyclopedia contains up to 23.8% fewer errors than the Iraqi Ministry of Information[5] The Uncyclomedia Foundation also performed its own objective study, which found that 103.8532%[This Can't Be True] of the information in Uncyclopedia was "250% true." [6]

Cite Your Sources or Die[This Can't Be True]

Accuracy will save your life.[This Can't Be True]

To ensure superior credibility[This Can't Be True], (if you can be bothered to do so) all sources must be cited[This Can't Be True]. (Write {{cn}} at the end of every sentence that doesn't have a citation[This Can't Be True]; It will show that what was being said is really a big fat greek lie[This Can't Be True].[big fat greek lie]) All articles that do not have proper citations will be instantly deleted[yeah, right] and its authors will be devoured by those scary rainbow things that I keep on seeing everywhere.[This Can't Be True][7]

You must use MLA format for some citations[yeah, right]. Unfortunately, for some mysterious reason that we cannot even begin to understand, the Modern Language Association has failed to create a format for some obviously reliable sources[This Can't Be True]. For those, use these Uncyclopedia guidelines[guidelines needed].

Controlled Substances[This Can't Be True]

  • Hallucinogens should be cited with the following format:
    • Name of Drug(s). Dose. Last Name of Drug Dealer, First Name of Drug Dealer. City Taken In, Year.
    • LSD. 200 µg. Guy, Some. Los Angeles, 2002.

Electronic Sources

  • SPAM emails:
    • Last Name of Sender, First Name of Sender. "Title of Email." Email Address of Sender. Date Received.
    • Wilde, Oscar. "I am the truth"[This Can't Be True] minluv@newspeak.oca 25 December 2005.

Interesting People Whom You Meet

For the protection of the privacy of the valuable experts who serve the greater good of our society, Uncyclopedia does not require that you provide the name of your sources[yeah, right]. You can just give a description of them[I think he had two arms and a nose].

  • One Person:
    • Description of Person. Year.
    • That Guy Who Was Passed Out and Smelled of Vodka. 1998.
    • That Person the Martians Want to Get. 2002.
  • One person being channeled through another person through the nether realm or the Netherlands or whatever...:
    • Last Name of Channeler, First Name. Name of Person Channeled. Means of Channeling. Year.
    • Frenya, Skeezo. Chief Jaguar-on-Crack of the Ancient Toltecs. Yahoo Messenger (Occult Edition). 1998.

When Should I Cite Sources?

A good rule of thumb to follow is to always cite sources when you have a sentence with the letter "e" in it[yeah, right][8]. This rule will always work, unless you have a sentence without the letter "e."[This Can't Be True] If that happens, just cite the source[This Can't Be True].

For example, let's say that you were adding content to the article You:

"You have a small penis [1].[This Can't Be True] 'You' has 3 letters [2].[This Can't Be True] An ant is absurd [3].[This Can't Be True] The last sentence did not have an 'e' in it [This Can't Be True].

References

  • [1] Spears, Britney. "EW! YOUR PENIS IS TOO SMALL-TRY OUR PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS." [This Can't Be True]Spamalot@fakedomain.tk. 25 December 2005.
  • [2]'you' The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205.[This Can't Be True]
  • [3] Anonymous. The Anti-Insect Manifesto. London: Elite Press, 1337.[This Can't Be True]
If[This Can't Be True] you[This Can't Be True] frequently find yourself conversing with giant cats who terrorize cities, you can use the cat's wisdom to improve the accuracy of our encyclopedia,[yeah, right] but only if you cite your sources[Of course you can't!].

Miscellaneous Sources

  • Demonic Possession:
    • Name or Description of Demon. Date of Possession.
    • Ethereal Dinosaur with Multiple Horns. 5 May 1999.
  • Them. We at Uncyclopedia understand what you mean by Them[This Can't Be True]. We hear their howls too [This Can't Be True]. Just use this format:
    • Them. Date.
  • Animals. Only fools don't realize that they can talk.
    • Species of Animal. 'Title of Communication.' Date.
    • Loch Ness Monster. 'Beware of geese.' 1873.
  • The Voices in Your Head can make valuable contributions to our encyclopedia[9]
    • The Voices in My Head. Location. Date.

Higher Standards

The [This Can't Be True] next[This Can't Be True] goal[This Can't Be True] for[This Can't Be True] Uncyclopedia[This Can't Be True] is[This Can't Be True] to [This Can't Be True]attain[This Can't Be True] 800% truth [This Can't Be True]-1200% fiction[yeah, right]. In order to achieve this goal by 2010,[This Can't Be True] every[This Can't Be True][10] word[This Can't Be True][11] in[12] Uncyclopedia[This Can't Be True][This Can't Be True][This Can't Be True][This Can't Be True][This Can't Be True] should[13] be[14] cited[15]. By 2013, e[16]v[17]e[18]r[19]y[20] l[21]e[22]t[23]t[24]e[25]r[26] w[27]i[28]l[29]l[30] b[31]e[32] c[33]i[34]t[35]e[36]d[37][38]. This[This Can't Be True] will[This Can't Be True] help[This Can't Be True] us[This Can't Be True] achieve [This Can't Be True]2600% accuracy [This Can't Be True].

References[This Can't Be True][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right][yeah, right]

  1. ↑ Al-Sahhaf, M. S. et al. (2007). Comparative analysis of accuracy and error correction in reference materials. Phallollogical Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy. 2(34): 897-923.
  2. ↑ "Uncyclopedia:Accuracy." {No it's not}Uncyclopedia, the Content-Free Encyclopedia. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2007. 2 January, 2007. <http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Accuracy>.[citation needed]
  3. ↑ Conversation with my friend who thinks that straightjackets are fashionable. 1996.
  4. ↑ "Conference on Accuracy with Inquisition Yields Surprising Results" (2006). Unnews.
  5. ↑ Baghdad, Bob (5 June 2001). "Statistical Analysis of Uncyclopedic Accuracy." Phallological Transactions of the Society for Marine Astronomy. Oxford: Oxford Dairy Farms Press, 1999.
  6. ↑ "Official Report." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  7. ↑ Shrooms (Psilocybin). 40 g. Homie, My. New York, 2006.
  8. ↑ "Official Manual on Style." Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
  9. ↑ The Voices in My Head. A Portable Toilet. 1992.
  10. ↑ "every." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 205
  11. ↑ "word." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 1112
  12. ↑ "in." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 452
  13. ↑ "should." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 812
  14. ↑ "be." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 210
  15. ↑ "cite." The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. p. 303
  16. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  17. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  18. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  19. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  20. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  21. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  22. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  23. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  24. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  25. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  26. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  27. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  28. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  29. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  30. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  31. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.[citation needed]
  32. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  33. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  34. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  35. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  36. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  37. ↑ Dover, Ben. The Alphabet Book. New York: Idiot's Children Press, 2000.
  38. ↑ "Yet Another Official Report".[citation needed] Uncyclopedic Committee on Factual Accuracy. Candyland: Uncyclomedia Foundation, 2000.
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