UnNews:Planet Palin orbits the Trump Star
| A newsstand that's brimming with issues | ✪ | UnNews | ✪ | Wednesday, May 29, 2024, 08:23:59 (UTC) |
| Planet Palin orbits the Trump Star | 
|
20 January 2016
LONDON, United Kingdom -- Planet Palin has returned from the deep cold of space derision (in the Fox News Gas cloud) to enter the Donald Trump Solar Plexus System. Pushing aside a mass of insignificant asteroids, meteorites, and Jeb "White Dwarf" Bush, Planet Palin assumed orbit around the Trump star. He felt an immediate attraction as a solar flare left his mouth and exploded over the surface of Planet Palin.
As Palin and Trump let their celestial bodies move closer and closer together, the sparks of energy and life became visible on Planet Palin. Long-dormant volcanoes kicked back into life, spewing out a lava flow of words and odd phrases that are the hallmark of Planet Palin. "Let’s blast ISIS’s ass!" and "Barack O’Bozo" echoed once again in the void.
The Trump Star looked on in friendly amazement at the return of this lost planet. His sun spots (often mistaken for a toupee) went hyper-crazy. He stopped stripping the mass of other rival stars close by (Cruz Star and Rubio Star) and smiled as only a huge inflated Red State Giant could do.
Seasoned and marinated observers say the re-emergence of Planet Palin has already caused interplanetary and solar 'perturbulence'. However, they warn that the combination could be unstable. The Trump Star has said it "doesn't do double acts," so the duo is unlikely to form a binary system, especially given the Trump Star's emissions regarding the face of Carly Fiorina. Planet Palin will more likely return to the void once the Trump Star has got all it needs from her. Then, rejected by a strong gravitational surge from the Trump Star, Planet Palin may disappear into the inky darkness for another 10,000 years, only visible from Earth during the occasional domestic violence charge. Unless, perhaps, the Trump Star goes supernova later in 2016.
Sources[edit]
- Staff "Planet 9 may be out there if we can find it". Washington Post, January 20, 2016