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USA Front Page Story Today's featured article – Rastadon The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...) Recently featured: The Addams Family Finnish sauna The B-52s Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – The Addams Family The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...) Did y'all know... *... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top? ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years? ... that this page will self-destruct in 5 seconds? ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top? ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years? ... that this page will self-destruct in 5 seconds? ... that Leonardo da Vinci invented the little round thing put in the middle of a pizza to prevent it from hitting the box top? ... and that because he had no name for it, it would not be used for over 500 years?	Dispatches from the Voice of America Ukraine minister charged with corruption French guard Buckingham Palace (pictured) Congressman inadvertently uses hurtful slur, millions traumatized Royal shock as original photo discovered Biden v Trump rematch confirmed UK bans puberty for children Germany spills British military secrets Scientists meld nuclear fusion and AI Brits make book on King Charles cancer U.S. returns to the moon Miami aliens finger new Epstein clients Israel boasts of precision in bombings it didn't do Ukraine destroys large Russian warship, again GOP will have no candidates in 2024 Argentina goes off the deep end On this day in America... May 18: Eat Your Meat Day (India) 4829 BCE - Oedipus Rex kills his mother and marries his father. 10 CE - Hannibal crosses the Alps and eats his enemies. 1948 - Time Magazine's printing press malfunctions. Time pauses for 5 hours and 23 minutes. 1968 - Donald Trump says something truthful; last recorded occasion. 1972 - Marilyn Manson is born. He cries. 1975 - Humpty Dumpty falls off the Berlin Wall. 1994 - Somebody has sex in Denver. 2001 - Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life is premiered in the USA and received extremely negative reviews, to the point of making Shrek kill 100,000 people. 2006 - The Nike Revolution starts. 2007 - Veggies are outlawed. 2007 - Marilyn Manson smiles, looks in the mirror and then cries again. 2016 - 873 people ask Jacob Tremblay for a selfie, breaking the previous record of 420. 2940 - The first T-rex is spotted since Jurassic times.
George Eastman's featured picture [vote] Canadian Soldiers.jpg Canadian Soldiers.jpg - 21 total votes ( 26 / 5 ) In order to quell the ongoing strife in the Mideast, the Canadian government has elected to send their elite peacekeeping forces into Afghanistan, Iraq and Mos Eisley. Image credit: NewMess1ah
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Great American heroes GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
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