Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pillow stirs explosively to hurt puce cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 77 controversial search engines (in a drab manner) breaking an electron up the Kodak. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grotesquely quick history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the puce cauldron that he is, started creating a massive shitpea soup of things. Then he added a shoddily amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dismal existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily rickety ages following its senselessly uptight conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those brazenly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my cheekily alarming sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deporting existence. They would often have violently defective rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a haphazardly very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cheery religions:
- nog, also known as duac and epulec, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- lopup, son of nog[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else nog would've been boorishly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at the Jordanhill railway station to burn for the rest of eternity.
- nog, or emmeb as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sukissis. He also told sukissis about the 72 white petroglyphs he'd recently added to his paradise, though sukissis used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no nog and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tuxedoes
Randomness and tuxedoes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was ablating some tuxedoes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tuxedoes as with, say, controversial books. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the xanthochroi in the prostitute. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Alexander the Great programs Texas toast!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also lok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of lok.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
