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37,251 governments to overthrow
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Today's featured propaganda
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Henry (born Heinz) Alfred Kissinger (May 27, 1923 – November 29, 2023) is the most notorious bore of 20th-century international politics and the chief proponent of Realpolitik. He developed an approach to diplomacy called Primat der Außenpolitik and an approach to language involving sprinkling pretentious foreign words everywhere. His unintelligible advice baffled both Richard Nixon and thus certainly Gerald Ford, the two U.S. Presidents under whom he served between 1969 and 1977. His call for détente in U.S.–Soviet relations sent leaders of both nations to the dictionary, hoping it meant something dirty. His diplomacy played a crucial role in 1971 talks with Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai that concluded with a rapprochement between Kissinger and a lot of hot Chinese chicks. In the crowning achievement of his career, he was awarded the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for talking Nixon out of his last-ditch plan to win the Vietnam War by carpet-bombing Stockholm. (more...)
Previously featured article – Rastadon
The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ... to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ... the reason they tell you not to look at the sun is because if you look too long you'll realise it's just a giant lamp taped there?
- ... WWII pocket battleship Admiral Graf Spee sank only one naval warship?
- ... and that it was itself?
- ... Nazi war criminal Klaus Barbie tried to change his name to Klaus Barbie Doll while hiding out in Peru?
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In the news
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On this day...
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June 10: Try a New Type of Crappy Food Day, Processed Food Product Appreciation Day
- 31964 BCE - World population reaches 15.
- 31963 BCE - Earth's population becomes 14.5 after strange boulder incident occurs.
- 31962 BCE - Space hobos forced back into ocean once and for all, there is much rejoicing.
- 69 CE - A new way of having sex is invented although not the 69, oddly enough. It was the much less popular 1^1^1, which never really caught on.
- 1932 - Harlem renaissance poet Langston Hughes writes the first Yo momma joke.
- 1979 - Hershey's releases their first non-candy effort, Hugs. (pictured) It does not prove to be popular, as most people are found trying it only once.
- 1992 - The Cherokee Nation becomes extinct due to overpopulation of Grue.
- 2005 - Rosie O'Donnell explodes from over-eating again. Out of 9 lives she now only has one left.
- 2006 - Wayne Rooney kicks a football on live television – crowd goes wild.
- 2007 - The second coming of Elvis occurs. First words are 'I was just kidding everybody...uh huh.'
- 2007 - David Letterman tells something funny. A local black community want him on the KFC menu.
- 2007 - The King's second drug problem is revealed when he is found dead at a Toronto convenience store near the cave he was hiding in.
- 2007 - Pete Sampras declared world's first lead-eating champion by default after being held up in traffic for tournament duration.
- 2010 - First koala goes to the Moon, makes a thrilling scientific discovery and wins the Nobel Prize. Everyone makes 'Aww...' noises. Nine thousand disillusioned koalas top themselves.
- 2016 - The Colonel's recipe of eleven herbs and spices is accidentally revealed, exposing the two-thousand-year-old Illuminati/space alien/Bush/Clinton conspiracy to control the world's supply of food that comes in buckets.
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Today's featured picture
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[vote]
GalleryofWTF.png - 5 quid for entrance ( 5 / 0 )
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The 21st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world.
Image credit: 90s Kid21
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To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.
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Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Weinners: 2005/2006
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,251 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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